Ted Mosby. Architect.

There’s a long standing joke between my friend Jenn and I that I am Ted Mosby and she is Robin Scherbatsky.  If you don’t know who these people are then why are you reading this?  Go watch multiple episodes of ‘How I met your mother’ right now!  I mean it!  It’ll be Legen-wait for it – Dary.

The more I think about it though the more I realize that I am actually a lot like Ted.  He’s a nice guy whose biggest problem when it comes to women is that he comes on too strong.  When he likes a girl he’s not afraid to show it.  Not afraid to act like an idiot.  Not afraid to throw caution to the wind and chase after love no matter how many times he trips and falls down.  No matter how many times he’s hurt, rejected, or left standing all alone.

Like Ted I’m searching for my woman with the yellow umbrella. Stumbling along in my search.  Trusting and knowing that someday I will find her and that all of the bumps and turns led me there.  Knowing that the seemingly insignificant events may lead me to find her.  Never knowing how close I may be at any given moment. 

That being said, in the moment, it’s easy to be distracted, to be dissuaded, disappointed and downcast about the opportunities in front of me…or my failure to take the opportunity of them.

After falling on his face, moving too fast once again, and looking like an idiot Ted says “You know what? I'm done being single, I'm not good at it. Look, obviously you can't tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can't. I'll tell you something though, if a woman, not you, just some hypothetical woman, were to bear with me through all this, I think I'd make a damn good husband, because that's the stuff I'd be good at. Stuff like making her laugh and being a good father and walking her five hypothetical dogs. Being a good kisser”

No, I’m that forward, or foolish enough to declare love on a first date.  But I do think I’m not very good at being single.  I’m no good at ‘picking’ up chicks, I don’t like the games, don’t like pretending to be something I’m not.  Feigning disinterest, or being an ass and aloof because it’ll intrigue her.  That’s not Ted, it’s not me. 

So I trudge on through, holding onto hope, continuing to look, to search for her no matter how long it takes.   So that down the road, some day many years from now I, like Ted, can tell them the story of how I met their mother.

Because in the end that’s who I am.

Ted Mosby, Architect.

Fear

What is it about fear that paralyzes us so?  That makes us stuck and unable to move.  Preventing us from doing even the simplest things.  Logic plays no more role, reason has lost it’s grip.

Just you and the fear.  All alone.

Left to make a choice, To get stuck and refuse to move on, or to face whatever it is ahead of us and refuse to back down.

To succumb, or overcome.

Fear often seems the easy way out, the right choice because it avoids so much

Pain

Embarrassment

Failure.

But in the end, by surrendering to fear it causes us to miss out on greatness.  Nothing great has been done without in some way facing down one’s fear.

So do we back down?  Do we listen to the fear and run away because we’re afraid?

Of Failure?

Of Rejection?

Of Humiliation?

Of Hurt?

Of Disappointment?

Or do we cast our cares to the wind and dive headlong into our greatest fears refusing to listen to our doubts knowing that something better is out there for us.

Perfect love casts out fear…yet too often we fail to rest in that love.  To trust, to hope, to dream and to escape the nightmare that we all too often find ourselves in.

By resting in His love we find a place that is safe – not a place without danger, without pain, without risk – but a place in which we are given the strength to overcome, to get back up when knocked down to risk time and time again, no matter how many times we fail.

There will always be someone there to carry you through.

When we’re honest, truly honest, fear holds all of us hostage in one way or another.

Afraid to risk a new job

To follow what you feel called to do

To open oneself to others

Even something as simple as asking someone out

We stop, and freeze, and refuse to do anything because we are unsure of what the future holds.

If we’re not careful we may live a life ruled by fear, let it control our actions, our dreams and end up somewhere we never expected living blasé risk free lives.  Fighting fear isn’t easy but it’s worth it.  I’m trying my best not to be afraid anymore, not to back down because I’m afraid of what’s going to happen.

I try to meet girls online because the rejection is easier to take – never outright, never in your face.  I may not approach a girl because I’m afraid of what may happen making their decision for them – thinking I’m not good enough, attractive enough, funny enough – afraid of what they may think.

I’m hesitant to pursue my dream – to start a church, to reinvasion my faith and inspire others.  The fear of failure echoing in my mind telling me I’m not qualified, that I have no clue what I’m doing.  That I can’t be used.  I’m afraid of what may happen so I make God’s decision for him.

I don’t want to be afraid anymore.  I want to stand up.  I want to trust. 

I want to truly live.

Lord help me.