Lord, I'm scared

Lord I’m scared.

I know what I’m supposed to do.  Day after day I’m reminded by your soft whispers. Encouraged by your gentle proddings.  And despite that it is what I want for myself more than anything; what I yearn for, I still stand there adamantly refusing to take the next step.  Filling my mind with distractions so I don’t have to deal with the weight of it all.   My feet planted like a streetlight watching as others and life passes me bye.

I’m scared.

What if?  What if no one joins me in this endeavour?  Heck, what happens if they do join me?.  What if I fail – what happens then?  More daunting, what if I succeed?  Will they find out I’m a fraud? Faking my way through this all, when in reality I have no clue what I’m doing.  After all when I’m honest I admit that even on my best days I’m merely blindly stumbling after truth.

I’m scared Lord.

I find it so hard to trust you in this – to put my faith in your provision, your guidance, your truth.  I yearn to throw myself upon your arms, your wings and allow you to help me soar. Yet my feet remain grounded, as do my dreams.  Waiting for that first step, that first leap to see where it takes me. 

Lord I’m scared….help me with my unbelief.